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helo (fresh) readers

gonna show off a scam i've been pulling on the predatory direct-to-home meal service known as hello fresh.

apparently they are the best way to cook dinner. what an assertion.

they are well known for their predatory pricing practices and relying on their users inability to buy ingredients for themselves in this world of endemic and ever-growing subscription-based services. who knew food as a service was a thing now. they normally "get you" by offering their subscription at a low initial cost before easing you into full price. i noticed however that upon reception of a package from something i bought off amazon, the included coupon was for a free box, meaning the first box they send you would be free:

what constitutes a "box"? how free is "free"?

hmm. i went to their website and typed in the code. what they do is give you $120 off the first box of food they send you, then the next two boxes they send you is $15 off each, to ease you into their predatory pricing model.

you can hear urself thinking right now: "what if i just put $120 worth of food into the first box i got and then canceled after the first box of food?"

...seems straight forward, so i tried it. i ordered several different meal kits from them:

• 4x servings Bolognese Rigatoni
• 4x servings Brown Sugar Bourbon Chicken + Green Beans + Mashed Potatoes
• 2x servings Speedy Beef Ramen Noodles
• 2x servings Mozzarella & Herb Chicken

each meal kit comes with 2 servings, so you could say that i got 2x orders of bolognese rigatoni and 1x order of mozzarella & herb chicken.

the total was: $144.88 - $120 discount + $10.99 shipping
grand total: $34.87 for 12 meals worth of food

pretty damn good. they require a kitchen to prepare for anything that isn't a microwave meal however, so if you're a college student or something your options would be more limited.

honestly the food itself isn't that bad

now of course, this being a one time thing means it's time to cancel. i clicked through the evil aw so boo-hoo we hate to see you go screens that are designed to make you feel bad for not capitalisming on your own terms.

but... does it have to be a one time thing?

in the bottom of the hello fresh box was ... another free box code, however its intent clearly stated as to be given to a friend. well, despite the turmoil and conflict we often have, i momentarily called truce so that myself and i could agree to consider ourselves to be friends.

they put one of these in every box they send, including the free box.
infinite box glitch

on my second go-around on the signup page, i was thinking "surely it's not this easy"... typed in my address, but decided to be sneaky and use a different name, and different card (you can make temporary cards with some services), and different phone number (they never actually verify your phone for anything)...

anyways i've done this three times now. here's the stats:

meal list

• 4x servings Bolognese Rigatoni
• 4x servings Brown Sugar Bourbon Chicken + Green Beans + Mashed Potatoes
• 2x servings Speedy Beef Ramen Noodles
• 2x servings Mozzarella & Herb Chicken
• 2x servings Cranberry-Glazed Meatballs
• 2x servings Italian Chicken over Lemony Spaghetti
• 2x servings Spicy Cashew Chicken Lo Mein
• 2x servings Hey, Honey! Salmon
• 2x servings Turkey Cavatappi Bolognese
• 3x servings Crunchy Hot Honey Chicken
• 3x servings Sweet Soy Honey Chicken
• 3x servings Paprika Chicken in a Lemony Sauce

$1.83 per meal. holy shit

my guess is that they only care if you use the same card or phone number twice since multiple people can live at one address, technically by the same name too lol. for my 4th order, i will try to keep everything wrt details the same as my original order but just change the card and see if they cry about it. (i will not stop if they do)

now if you’ll excuse me, i have a package to tend to

~ happy scamming!